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Dating With
Confidence Part II
Dating with confidence requires the following personal
actions: 1. Believe in yourself. People who are confident in
themselves typically draw a crowd. They are people who
others simply want to be around. 2. Lift others up. People
who lift others up feel free to be themselves. 3. Deal with
personal issues that limit your ability to connect with
others. We cannot develop good relationships until we deal
with our fears. 4. Be happy. Happy people attract others.
They joke around without putting others down. They find
humor in small things. 5. Love others. It is easy to date
with confidence when you see the people you date as
individuals with tremendous worth.
Dating With Confidence Part III
So, what are characteristics of people who date with
confidence? Before you read any further, take five minutes
and write down the characteristics of people you know who
are simply confident. (The lists will be oddly similar): 1.
They have the ability to see others strengths. 2. They
believe in the goodness of others. 3. They have personal
goals and aspirations and work to achieve them. 4. They
connect with others--have good relationships with many
people. 5. They arenīt afraid to meet new people. 6. They
enjoy life. 7. They develop personal skills and talents. 8.
They NEVER put others down for a win for themself. 9. They
serve others. 10. They have values. 11. They have integrity
(they are honest and truthful with all people). 12. They
affirm the worth of others. 13. They allow others to make
choices without imposing their personal beliefs on others.
14. They believe in their own ability to make good
decisions.
Dating With Confidence Part V
People who date with confidence have one trait that stands
out above all others: they love. They have a genuine love
and compassion for all people. Think about the people you
know who are successful at dating; typically they make
others feel better about themselves when they are together.
The general rule is this: You cannot hurt others and feel
good about yourself. Conversely, when you lift others up,
you feel better about yourself. When we truly love others,
we are most likely to have confidence in ourselves. Love
others and you will have more confidence in your dating
skills.
RELATE
Want a dating assessment tool that tens of thousands of
couples and individuals have benefited from during the past
20 years? RELATE is the most comprehensive
premarital/marital assessment available. The first version
of this instrument was developed by Wesley R. Burr in 1980
and was called Marital Inventories. After 10 years of
successful use with premarital couples, it was replaced by
the PREParation for Marriage (PREP-M), which was also
primarily focused on the premarital relationship. In the
fall of 1997, RELATE was released. This new version of the
questionnaire was designed for use with individuals or
couples who are single and unattached, steady dating,
engaged, cohabiting, married or contemplating remarriag.
Deepening Your
Relationship
To take your relationship to that next level, you and your
partner have to give each other more than just love and
affection; you have to encourage your growth and development.
Ask yourself the following questions: 1) How have you and your
partner responded to stress in your relationship? It is under
stress that we get to see the true colors of the person we are
dating. 2) Does you partner encourage your personal development
and growth? Can you develop your skills and talents or does your
dating partner limit what you can do? 3) Do you find that you
can share everything with each other? Growth in a relationship
demands that we share ourselves with the people we are dating.
4) Can you laugh with each other and at each other's mistakes
without offense being taken? Couples who grow together enjoy
each others strengths and weaknesses. |
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